LOVE IN THE BEST OF PLACES

 Joshua Victoria 

October 6 2024

Love is beautiful even the bible confirms it. As much as a I hate to admit it, it does exist. 

My pastor is madly in love with his wife even the blind can attest to it. My folks, though old school are still in love with each other after so many years of marriage but for me, the end always proves it wrong. Afterall I keep dating the same character in different bodies. I became exhausted, I didn't want to know what love looks like, feel like or even taste like. social media was no longer my thing as I don't believe in love anymore.

I moved on with my single and of course boring life. Days became weeks, weeks became months and it's already two years. No man, several failed talking stages, just the single Pringle hating couple's here and there.

Suddenly this particular Yoruba man swept me off my feet. Yoruba men!! I just can't figure them out. Well I fell in love without realizing it. I had known him for quite sometime now, usually sees him in church but never paid attention till he eventually sat in front of me one Sunday.

He was praying in the holy ghost and for some weird reason it felt like my favourite song was being sang in the most beautiful way. In the heat of the prayer I had to open my eyes and right in front of me was this man praying with all seriousness. I was completely lost and all I could say was amen to whatever his prayer was about

After the service, I summoned courage walked up to him, we exchanged pleasantries and his smile was the most beautiful one I have seen in a while. Right there and then I knew I wanted to be his wife, I was completely lost in love but as a hard girl with numerous heartbreak I was hella composed on the outside.

We exchanged numbers and got talking, safe to say one of the talking stage that never failed. We got really close that I could empty my heart to him whenever we spoke. He showed me love after several hurts, he made me realize me heart still works, he never hesitate to show it every opportunity he gets.

Exactly eight months after we had started dating, we went to his place together after church and we had dinner. I decided to rest a bit and I was fast asleep on the couch. He came to the living room where I was, took off my wig, adjusted me properly, covered me with a duvet, didn't leave immediately he said a little prayer, kissed my forehead and left.

Not long after he left, I heard a loud knock on the door. He opened it stepped back in shock

"Peju how did you find me??

A very beautiful, brown skin, rich lady walked in. I was dumbfounded, slowly I started to sweat In a fully conditioned living room. I tried to speak but I couldn't, tears rolled down my cheek.

She then looked at me with so much disgust and pity for me

"Stop fooling yourself, he will never be the man for you. He is mine, I did all the work apparently and you can never take my place and hey I will do everything I can to have him back"

She walked towards him pulled him close, kissed him on his lips

"I'm coming for you papi" She smirked and left

I broke down in tears, cried profusely and then I heard a voice saying this isn't real.

Frantic, I opened my eyes and the love of my life was right on his kneel in front of me holding my hands and praying for me. I quickly hugged him tightly.

"I don't want to lose you to her I said and continued crying

"Whatever you're scared of will never happen. I made a vow to God who is the writer of our love story to love you and only you for as long as I breathe.

Tolu, you come first and always will, you are going to be the most important person in my life. Everyday I ask God to teach me how to love you better and in accordance to what the Bible says about love. I know you've never been loved properly before but I promise to love you better.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I love you Tolu Felix and you don't have to be scared of anything

All I could do was cry the more

"If this is what love is, I want to be in love with you forever I said 

"Look at your fingers

"I looked and behold the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen was sitting pretty on my finger.

"I'll be the biggest fool to turn you down

Yes I will marry you.

He hugged me tightly

"Thank God for this gift.

And that was how 24 years old me fell in love with the best man in the best place.

Anie's note:

So I know a couple of people that think  love is a myth. They strongly believe true love doesn't exist.

Do you think so??

Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to comment and tell me what y'all think.

Share:

Read More

LETTING GO PIECE BY PIECE. Joshua Victoria September 07 2024

With you it wasn't love at first sight, it was love at first text, first conversation. Your love came without a warning, I didn't even get much time to think or process it. 

I had already gotten a description of you with a picture attached and all i wanted was the personality to match the face and it beats me because your personality was almost close to perfection.

There is  already a fix description of how i want my significant other to look like, i mean everyone does or maybe not. You fit in everything except the name and i teased you of how I'll have to change your name so it fits perfectly.

It all started on the 8th of July, i got a message from a coursemate asking i send my picture, i was reluctant at first because we weren't that close and after sending it i made it clear to him I wasn't into hookup. He was shocked and a bit disappointed that I'd think he is that kind of person, however he just wanted to show his cousin who just came back to Nigeria. Now that totally got my attention and i apologized and was interested in the conversation and he told me a little, more like a lot about his cousin and i finally agreed to him sharing my contacts.

Unconsciously i was constantly checking my phone for your message to pop up and at about 9pm i got a "Hi" from a strange number and i was super excited but kept my cool and we started talking and i felt really good though, this feeling is not totally new to me but felt different with You.

Two weeks in and I couldn't go a day without at least texting you, i wanted your opinion on everything down to my choice of clothes or hair to make.

We decided to finally meet for the first time and all night i couldn't stop  staring at the ceiling and giggling. you  practically brought out the inner child in me even without seeing each other.

On my way to you it started drizzling and by the time i got off i had little drops on my shirt and you were outside waiting for me. You recognized me and hugged me then you held my hand and display deepest affections for me regardless of whether people are watching or not.

I had to remind myself to stay calm and composed..

When we finally got to sit down, you couldn't stop staring.

" You're so beautiful Serena. You said as your eyes focused intensely on me.

I couldn't help but smile sheepishly and even forgot to say a thank you for the compliment. Later on we decided to order something and you asked for my opinion and that alone made me feel heard. We had great time, hung out couple of times and our bond grew stronger by the day 

Honestly speaking, there is something about calm and collected men, they are so attractive and gives the safest energy. We had a different level of intimacy where you educate me on topics where i lack knowledge on and my love for you grew stronger everyday and i knew the feeling was mutual but i was wondering why you weren't making it formal.

I got a text one day saying

"Are you sure i won't make you my wife? 

I took my phone and decided to call to know what the text was about and you told me how I've occupied your mind all day and since I've been busy, you didnt want to disturb. I smiled and said 

" Well we are married already, you just haven't gotten the memo. 

You admired my sense of humor and we spoke for a while.

I couldn't bottle up my feelings so i brought up conversations that will eventually lead us to speaking about our feelings but somehow you always got out of the conversation without having to talk about it and i started having my doubts but your actions says i exercise patience which i did.

Months later we were in a ship, whatever that was i guess we both cared for each other that much for me to believe that.

You were kind enough to finally have the conversation and we were sitting across the table. You took my hands, intertwined with yours and decided to finally break the silence overwhelming us.

" Serena, i love you so much thats why i havent made this formal.

Now that had me confused because it made no sense.

 "I love you and i see the value in you beyond physical appearance. I want to be a man of my word and be dependable and that's almost impossible because i will be traveling back to the states and i honestly have no plans of coming back at least not yet. You sighed, took a deep breath and locked your eyes with mine and continued.

" Laziness can kill a relationship, staying loyal is not enough we will need the dinner dates, the quick phone calls and random compliments and because of time difference we might be having a lot of issues.

That news sent chills down my spine and instantly i felt like a bucket of ice has been dropped on my head. I needed more than this, i needed to know why our relationship wouldn't stand a chance. Cold and silent anger echoed off my face as the tension hummed loudly.

You told me that you'd never hurt me but you weren't sure the relationship will stand the test of time. 

However, you asked if I understood, I answered yes avoiding your gaze on me but honestly I didn't.

It was very hard for me, i was broken. I imagined how you made me feel seen and heard those times we hung out and the love i wanted and craved for was as pure as what you showed me. It was very difficult to understand. 

Months later, you finally travelled and i was left with the memories and couldn't stop thinking of how we got to this point where we can't be part of each other's existence.

Then i finally understood what you meant by standing the test of time. Having to juggle multiple jobs, you barely had time for yourself let alone a relationship. 

Most days i miss you so much that it hurts i could literally feel it. As plain as simple as that could be, you were the one i wanted to be with for the rest of my life.it came to reality, however that was apparently too much to ask for and i could end up hating you because i was somehow hoping you'll change your mind for me and you never did.

 Letting go was very difficult for me but our love could only go this far.

Anie's note:

Is it really easy to let go??? If you ask me I'll say it is not .I advocate loving a person completely. So imagine having to let go of a place where you can finally say "Oh this is where I belong".  It's insane but  the safest option when you both can't meet each other's need just completely walk away and open up your heart that way you don't hate each other.

Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to comment and tell me what y'all think.

Share:

Read More

THIS IS ME..OR MAYBE NOT. Joshua Victoria -September 07,2024

       

It gets to a certain point in time where life hits differently when you feel stuck and clueless about what you're doing with your life. It hurts more when you have to deal with the pains alone because everyone think you're naturally smart and can figure everything out on your own when in reality, you have no idea where you're going but you have to keep going because everyone has high expectations of you.

 I've always wanted to get a white collar job after school which doesn't really seem like a bad idea but in a country where things like jobs don't come handy you have to improvise. I thought I had it figured out, I realized there are people  depending on me . My siblings that I want to do even if it's the little things for,  my parent that I want to relief the stress of having to take the responsibility alone on their shoulders and me of course that I need to take care of but how will that happen without a source of income. 

Serving the country as a Nigerian youth and the allowance that comes monthly really amounts to nothing and when I'm being ask on different occasions what my passion is or what I love to do, I feel like I have it covered this moment and the next I'm so clueless and look dumb for not knowing at this point what I really want.

I've had to surf the internet for courses I can read to make money remotely, businesses to start up with little income and whatnot but here I am. Life doesn't care about our plans, doesn't follow a script neither does it gives us the luxury of certainty.

Most times I become ungrateful and complain just because I'm confused about what the future holds for me.

Then I ask myself what do I really want? Happiness?? Comfort? Luxury ? And who is responsible for them? So I decided to write this to challenge myself that I can do better, I just need to figure out what I love to do.

Hopefully it won't be too late.

An unsolicited advice 

Our biggest pains and fears tend to be self inflicted. We shouldn't do that to ourselves.

Before you came into existence, there has always been the need to provide for one's self and those around him ...and that need will still be very much in existence when you are long gone. So why let something that isn't uncommon to man be of burden to you?

Instead, start and continue to see things from a new angle "THE GROWTH MINDSET".

The growth mindset is one which gives you the ability to recognize your situation and to believe that there is a way out, and that way will be found by all means.

Anie's note:

This is practically me right now, so I can tell you for sure that I can  totally relate to being young and not getting it yet. Lol. But understanding that this things are normal happenings and there is absolutely nothing you can do about them is a bold step to the growth mindset. That way you won't have to beat yourself up but focus on finding a way out.

Love has always been my strongest forte but once in a while let's see life from life's angle if you know what I mean..

Thank you so much for reading and don't forget to comment and tell me what y'all think.

Share:

Read More